Sunday, November 2, 2008

Me, Matt and Hugh


Alright, so they say every one has a doppelganger. Funny thing about doppelgangers, you might not look like them at all most of your life, then randomly you go bald and SHAZAM! (spell check is awesome... "shamus?" because that makes more sense than shazam....)

So recently I gave in to my thinning hair and cut it all off. I think it took my big brother Shaun all of 25 seconds to come up with my doppelganger - Seahawks quarterback Matt Hasselbeck.

Since the realization, Matt and I have grown close. The above picture is of he and I doing a got milk commercial. I filled in as his stunt double, just in case things got out of hand.

In summary, shave your head. It's interesting who you will look like. I went from being mistaken for Hugh Jackman and Christian Bale's love child to a guy with a milk mustache. Okay maybe I only dreamed I was carrying Hugh Jackman's love child.... this is going down hill very quickly. But hey, Matt Hasselbeck is better than James Carville, right?


















Hugh, call me.....



.....

Saturday, November 1, 2008

Gumby and Pokey (in the arm... and wrist... and hand)







In the on-going adventures of being engaged to Nurse Sue, I was confronted with an epic inner conflict. That's all fancy words for saying I did something I didn't want to do because I still want her to marry me - I let her poke me with needles.

I love needles. I was not a big sissy as a kid. When we had blood tests as kids, it was never a problem, never a traumatic experience for me or my poor momma. It's not like she had to physically hold me down in the chair while I was screaming and yelling and probably making the phlebotomist's job very hard. (when I spell checked phlebotomist, it came up with lobotomist..... sweet) Okay, so everything I just said was a lie. Ask my mom. But hey, she always got me a slurpee afterwords, bless her heart.

Back to current day, Sue is in RN school, second to last semester! This week was IV check offs. Well as you can imagine, nurses have to learn skills through practice somehow... and you can only get so much experience from poking a Cabage Patch doll. (no the doll WASN'T mine... like I would let her touch Felipe!) So Sue's brother in law Darryl and I "volunteered". Darryl should get full recognition for his bravery, cause he isn't marrying her, he did it because he's a supportive brother in law. I wonder if I would do something that nice for Darbie..... hahahahah okay sorry, back to reality.

Darryl even went first. One poke to the elbow didnt work, so the second was to the wrist. The wrist one not only didn't work, but cause quite a bit of pain..... must have hit something in there, who knows what. Patient #1, done! Now it's my turn. The last patient's experience may have been less than confidence inspiring, but I had visions of slurpees (forget sugar plums, whatever those are... they dont even sound that good) dancing in my head.

Poke 1- In the elbow, no blood return, but for a second I thought the needle might come out the back side of my elbow!

Poke 2- In the wrist, no blood return, but if you ever get struck by lightning in your arm, we need to compare notes, because I think that we might have something in common.

Poke 3, 4, &5- Back of the hand, and suprisingly the least painful, but still no blood return.

Poke 6 - In the thumb side of the wrist, blood return the first time!!!! sucess!!

Nurse Sue had her test the very next day, and got blood return on the very first stick, knew every step to the setup and verification, passed with flying colors!!! Mission accomplished!

She still owes me a slurpee, but it was worth it. Phobia conquered, for now.
As the Beatles accurately wrote "All you need is love".... and one really good vein.

Put Me in the Zoo




So for anyone that had read the children's book Put Me in the Zoo, That's what I got to be for Halloween, just two weeks early! Thursday the 16th I started to get a little spotted, which soon turned into a LOT spotted. 4 benedryl and almost a whole bottle of calamine lotion later, I went to bed, still itching. Friday I woke up to these spots (see above).

Nurse Sue took good care of me, got me into the ER with a nice insider trick - if you are ever in the ER, tell them you are having trouble breathing, gets you in ahead of everyone except the bleeders.... and we all know they are faking it too anyways.... sheesh, the wusses. So they gave me some pills and took my blood, and 3 hours later the spots faded. Didn't dissapear, just faded, along with the itching.

So Saturday I get up and it's back, and WORSE! Against the doctor's orders, I upped my medication and took it more frequently. Well, I took a nap and woke up better. Strange.

And for the question everyone is asking - YES, THEY ARE REAL!!!..... no, wait thats not it. Oh yeah, what caused it? Noone knows. The spots started showing up after a visit to mom and dad's house, so we all sumized that I'm allergic to Dad. To prove it, Dad gave me a wallup on the wrist with his heafty fingers. I got a welt, but not an allergic reaction.... where's Gregory House when we need him? Gramma convinced herself I am allergic to shellfish, so I ate crab at work just to find out..... that's a negative. Who knows.

The plus side of all of this - have you ever been covered in calamine lotion? I'm not talking a spot for a mosquito bite.... I mean laying on the couch and having it poured on you.... it's quite exciting. And I've always thought I looked good in pink.